It’s been a year that we’ve had to endure Trumpism.  I compiled a collection of some of the observational zingers that I’ve created during that time and posted on Facebook, Twitter and my blog.  See if you have a favorite:

·        Congress scuttles coal mine river debris regulation.  Who doesn’t want barbecue flavored water?

·        Trump advisor Miller says, “It’s not for me to speak what’s in Trump’s mind.”  That’s because it’s empty.

·        Rand Paul says there’s not enough time to investigate Republicans.  Who can argue with that?

·        Trump’s official inauguration poster had a misspelled word.  Did Betsy DeVos write it?

·        Spies withhold info from Trump.  They’re waiting to give it to him at the Mar-A-Lago buffet line.

·        I think the dictionary just added a new entry to the definition of deranged.

·        “Mr. President, can you comment on the rise of anti-Semitic acts in America?”  “Sit down and shut up.”

·        If Trump’s favorability rating keeps tanking, his popularity will soon be roughly equivalent to Lizzie Borden’s.

·        Trump says he’s going to bring the country together.  Only if it’s in the line at the Canadian border.

·        Trump says he has a friend in Paris.  I thought Napoleon was dead.

·        Nixon’s former lawyer sees “echoes of Watergate” in Trump’s first month.  I see echoes of Dr. Strangelove.

·        Trump misspells “hereby” twice on Twitter.  Betsy DeVos immediately called for choice in spelling.

·        Trump thinks Obama wiretapped him.  Actually, it was Putin setting up the direct line.

·        Interior Secretary repeals ban on lead bullets.  We need to do something with the extra lead that will be in our water.

·        Waiting for Trump to tweet that he is no longer tweeting and then tweeting to confirm it.

·        Trump threw his can opener away when Kelleyanne Conway told him it was breathing.

·        George Forman grill accused of leaking Trump’s tax return.

·        Whenever Trump make a ridiculous unsupported claim, I can’t help but think of Gilda Radner saying, “Never mind.”

·        Budget Director says Meals on Wheels not showing results.  Those old, poor people should be running marathons!

·        Spicer claims Britain spied on Trump.  Apparently, the queen keeps a microwave in her purse.

·        Trump didn’t hear Merkel’s request for a handshake.  The voices in his head drowned her out.

·        Trump supporter says he wasn’t lying, just speaking Americanese.  The rest of us know it as bullshit.

·        When you suddenly find yourself nostalgic for Ted Cruz, you know things have turned very dark.

·        Trump approval rating falls again.  Soon it will be lower than Trump U graduates’ success rate.

·        Trump said, “I didn’t know it was so complicated.”  I think he was referring to tying his shoes.

·        Trump proclaims Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  Kind of like Jack the Ripper proclaiming Knife Safety Month.

·        A new plague in the Passover celebration: boils due to lack of health care.

·        Let’s hope Sean Spicer doesn’t start talking about carnival rides at the Holocaust Center.

·        Trump sent missiles to Syria while eating chocolate cake with Xi.  He plans to bomb Mexico over borscht with Putin.

·        Manafort registers as foreign agent, but most good enemy countries were already taken by other Trump advisors.

·        13 health code violations at Mar-A-Lago.  Trump asks if Obamacare still covers food poisoning.

·        White House calls DeVos Sec. of Educatuon.  Pretty much how kids will spell under her leadership.

·        Trump sends armada in wrong direction.  He always gets confused between North Korea and North Dakota.

·        Trump’s 100 day accomplishments:  “I ate the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen.”

·        Ivanka got booed in Germany; she got bribed in China.

·        The tax plan apparently was written on a napkin at a Mar-A-Lago dessert extravaganza.

·        Trump said he would meet with Kim but no dinner.  A good thing: food poisoning at Mar-A-Lago could cause World War III.

·        Trump tells CBS, “I don’t stand for anything.”  Well, duh.

·        They may have to reopen Alcatraz for the Trump Presidential Library.

·        We’re going to look back at, “I am not a crook,” with fond nostalgia.

·        Trump will be going to Italy for the G7.  He thinks it’s a bingo game.

·        Trump tweets covfefe, trying to learn Russian for when Putin becomes National Security Advisor.

·        Trump has given ethics waivers to 17 White House advisors.  He’s turning the swamp into the Everglades.

·        U.S., Syria and Nicaragua not in Parris Accord.  Two dictatorships and one democracy.  Nicaragua is the democracy.

·        Sessions says he gets nervous answering questions quickly.  After all, he needs time to make up his lies.

·        Kellyanne Conway says get a job instead of Medicaid.  Nursing home residents may need help with the applications.

·        Trump was unable to find his limo parked in front of him.  Let’s hope that happens with the nuclear codes.

·        Trump’s lawyer says Trump was aware of nothing.  That about says it all.

·        Jared Kushner attended the Russian meeting in hopes of obtaining a personality.

·        Liar, liar pants on fire.  There must be a huge number of flaming trousers at the White House.

·        Ivanka says she supports her LGBTQ friends.  She thinks it means Let’s Get Back to Quotas.

·        Trump wants to be up on Mt. Rushmore.  Let’s put him there – literally and permanently.

·        Every time Anthony Scaramucci speaks, an angel pukes.

·        Stephen Miller is a rare thing.  Jewish Nazis are hard to find.

·        Kellyanne Conway says Trump is planning to be a two-termer.  Obviously, she was referring to jail terms.

·        Trump to skip Kennedy Center Honors.  Anything with honor in it offends him.

·        Trump tweets, “Help America heel.” Apparently, after he resigns, he’s going into the shoe repair business.

·        Trump donates Melania’s stilettos to the Red Cross as a rescue device.

·        Don Jr.’s next story will likely be that he went to the Russian meeting to see if Hillary was adopting Putin.

·        Trump thought Motel 6 calling for ICE is like what he does when he has a margarita at Mar-A-Lago.

·        Trump throws paper towels to hurricane victims.  For the next one, he plans to provide slip and slides.

·        Trump forgot that he was President of the Virgin Islands.  It’s just that he gets so excited when he hears virgin.

·        Every time Trump makes a ludicrous claim, he says he has proof.  Apparently it’s 80 proof.

·        Trump plays golf in Japan.  That’s to avoid the fact that he can’t remember the name of Japan.

·        It is quite telling that Trump was more upset that Kim Jong Un called him old than he was about Kim calling him a lunatic.

·        Reddi Wip and Hebrew National hot dogs pull Hannity ads.  If a beer company follows suit, and viewers boycott them, Alabamans will have no nutrition at all.

·        Shouldn’t the Attorney General of the U.S. be able to remember … anything.

·        Of course Trump supports Moore.  They’re on the same competitive sexual assault team.

·        It turns out that the witch hunt is actually catching a lot of witches.

·        Kellyanne Conway says that Trump has tremendous moral standards, and apparently she has tremendous brain damage.

·        After Trump slurred his words, there is very little left that he hasn’t slurred.

·        Trump doesn’t care anything about Net Neutrality, as long as he can still tweet from the toilet.

·        Mnuchin’s horse manure was just regifting of Trump’s tax bill.

·        Trump suing Bannon for defamation is like Kim Jong Un suing Trump for having a bigger button.

·        Trump said he could beat Oprah ... if only he could learn the words to the National Anthem.

·        So many Republicans have such poor memories, the FDA has approved a new drug called NowIRecall.

·        Analysts indicate that Trump speaks at a fourth grade level.  Come on now let’s not insult fourth graders.

·        Trump played golf on Martin Luther King Day.  He originally had planned to play tennis because he thought it was Billie Jean King Day.

·        Trump recognized a lion on his cognitive test.  Now if only he could recognize that he’s an imbecile.

·        Word has it that the entertainment at Trump’s $50,000 a ticket Mar-A-Lago celebration will be Stormy Daniels, but you have to bring your own copy of Forbes.

·        Trump says he’s a stable genius.  The rest of the horses agree.

·        Now we know that when Trump said, “Only I can fix it,” he was referring to the plumbing at Trump Tower.

·        Melania stayed home from Switzerland.  She paid Trump $130,000 so that she didn’t have to go.

·        Mueller gets Trump to agree to be interviewed by promising him two bags of Big Macs.

·        Melania flew to Florida.  She decided that she would rather spend her anniversary at the insect infested Mar-A-Lago than with Donald.