It’s been awhile since my blog replayed some of my recent tweets, so here it goes:

·        Trump says he’s young and vibrant.  I didn’t realize all the mirrors had been removed from the White House.

·        A young girl once said to Trump directly, but in French, “You’re a disgrace to the world.”  Trump will likely quote it as, “Your Grace, you’re my world.”

·        Trump said, “I’m the chosen one.”  Then he said he was being sarcastic.  Since sarcasm is a remark meaning the opposite, “chosen” must have meant “rejected.”

·        Trump said doctors in Dayton and El Paso left the operating rooms when he was there.  The only way they would leave an operating room would be if he was the patient.

·        Sarah Huckabee to Fox: “Thanks for recognizing my prevarication talents.”

·        Trump wanted to give himself a Medal of Honor.  A Medal of Horror would do.

·        It was suggested that Donald Trump is “King of the Jews.”  I’m Jewish and apparently I missed the coronation.

·        I’m Jewish and I know that it is extremely difficult to find a Jewish Nazi, but Stephen Miller proves that nothing is impossible.

·        To Rep. Steve King – So sorry that you’re the product of incest.

·        Trump claims he received the (non-existent) Michigan Man of the Year Award.  Since he is unable to read properly, he failed to notice that the award was actually Maniac of the Year.

·        Before he buys Greenland, let’s make Trump spell it.

·        Trump declares himself “King of Israel.”  I bet he also remembers when he was Pharaoh in Egypt.

·        Apparently Ken Cuccinelli believes the original version of Emma Lazarus’ poem was, “We only take Norwegians.”

·        When life gives you lemons, vote them out.

·        Instead of Fox News, it should be Fox Spews.

·        When Trump and Melania’s likenesses go into a wax museum, please add wicks to them.

·        Trump did not give an address; it was a drug-induced coma.

·        Trump needs to be severely under medicated.

·        Mitch McConnell fell and fractured his shoulder.  He should not have been practicing Putin ass kissing.

·        When Trump gave his speech, I thought it was one of those “Your Brain on Drugs” ads.

·        Trump only cries if his Big Macs are late.

·        Think how many shootings we have had in Colorado.  Then check how much money the NRA has given Cory Gardner.

·        People who are tired of being called racists shouldn’t be racists.

·        I’m guessing Trump’s next Press Secretary will be Roseanne.

·        I just watched a History Channel documentary on Caligula.  It was confusing.  I thought it was a Trump biography.

·        The Trump Presidential Library will likely be in the prison cafeteria.  It will feature pop-up books.

·        Disliking Trump is the most patriotic act you can perform.

·     If Rod Serling were still around, he could just follow Trump around for ideas for the next Twilight Zone episode.